
It takes courage
It takes courage to express yourself and we all run into it from time to time. Recently I did a family constellation in which I was the questioner myself. It was part of my education, and to be honest, at first I thought: "I'll come up with something, I don't have a real question." Until suddenly a question bubbled up. A pattern I saw in my children touched something in me. The courage to express yourself. So in the end, that question was not about my children, but about myself. Because they walk their own path. And even though I am always there for them, it is not up to me to map out that path for them.
The mask and fear
The line-up continued for a long time. Especially because of the conversations I had since then – sometimes with people from unexpected places. I am grateful for their openness, and also for what it showed me: that I don't always dare to give myself completely. I sometimes still feel the fear of rejection. To be misunderstood. To be too much, or not enough. To lose someone. And so I put on a mask. A mask of strength, of knowing. While I actually feel vulnerable. But that mask gets in the way of my courage. And my belief in myself.
It takes courage as the beginning of growth
Yet I dare to look at myself more and more often. And I see: just seeing zien my pattern is courage. Saying pronounce it is growth. Even though it remains exciting to show the back of my tongue. Because what if I hurt someone else? What if I lose something? And then I realize: it's up to me to break my pattern. In the hope that this will allow my children – without me having to say anything – to look at their own piece.
A gift to myself
Life is a Learning process. More than ever, we have the opportunity to consciously engage in that process. There are so many ways we can take good care of ourselves—our bodies, minds, and souls. How nice is it that we can do that? It takes courage, if we have the courage. And yes, sometimes it is scary, uncomfortable or even weird. Because hiding it was once safer. But I am grateful that I gave this gift to myself. The illness that stopped me also gave me the insight: I have courage. And I work with myself.
Now I want to support others in this.
With relaxation, with coaching, or by just being together.
In my way
On their journey.
And mine.
Warm regards,
Caroline

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